March 31, 2021

Dear March,

What’s up, I believe you’re well…Today is your last day and I just thought I would put pen to paper or tap to keys and write you today and let you know this year specifically just how much you mean to me… Honestly, for many years I have looked forward to you, after all you are the month that embodies every basketball lovers dream such as myself, a tournament where men and women take to the hardwood to leave it all on the court hoping to overcome multiple opponents to be at the end the only one…Full of exciting thrills, crazy plays, lucky shots, buzzer beaters, high seat seeds going home early, again a basketball lover’s dream rightly deemed, March Madness… you lived up to your name this year for sure, but not on the hardwood floor of any gym but on the stained floors of my life… yep you heard me right my life was March Madness, no cap.

Like I look at you leaving today and I can’t believe all you put me through…madness… like straight madness…if you will allow me to be frank, there were times this all seemed very unreal… there is no way EVERYTHING IS SOME TYPE OF WAY! Like you wouldn’t even give me a day, usually I had to take it because you made sure what was happening, I had no say! Too many days of tears, so many times of fear, like what did you have against me? There were days, the war on the inside of me was so tangible I smelled the smoke from within because I was fighting with everything within me to pull off this win. Days of hurt, days of pain, days where I literally said I would rather go through childbirth again than to feel like this, and I meant it. Days I fought big devils not small imps but the chief devil in charge and I would come from the battlefield tend to my wounds in my dressing room and come out with a smile and address my army of dreams. You broke me down many times, knocked me down, put my face in the mud, made me feel like there was no hope, took me in circles, left me stranded on the runway of bad decisions yet right intentions… March Madness…

Man I wanted to leave, I wanted to quit after all you treat me like this, I must not be that needful right. Yeah, like…you came for me, I know for fact your intentions were to take me out like all the way out… I was your target and today as I see you leave I realize it was God in heaven that said “you know what March all this madness in PAK’s life might be your assignment, but just know, I ain’t buying it”. See March, as I see you depart, the shots you took were your best, touching what I love and treasure deeply, speaking against my purpose and vision not loudly, but constantly whispering- yea you kept whispering defeat trying to make me feel crazy, but  God wasn’t buying it… I think it’s cause he already made His purchase… me…brought with a price and YES ON CALVARY… God said “I paid too much for that girl to allow the bowels of hell even to think they have the final say”…Today as I see you go, March, every trial you sent went through the hands of God before it even got to me, see that’s why I’m still sitting yes, sitting not standing… sitting is a posture that communicates you intend to stay, standing is a posture that communicates action… March just know, I sit here and write because I intend to stay and watch my God stand-up and begin to put every devil in their place. March you have lived up to your name, March Madness, but just like Hebrews 12:2, I endured your shame, I fixed my eyes on the one who is the pioneer and perfecter of my faith. There was a joy set before me, and finally I believe all your madness was simply for the purpose of the gladness I couldn’t see.

So it’s been real, like FOR REAL FOR REAL… so while I started this letter sort of in my feelings, I realize March, this letter isn’t even to glory in you…but to thank you for making me see I truly have the victory…